Ponderings on a +

Ok before you read this – if you haven’t already go and read this Google+ post and watch the video – don’t worry I will still be here when you get back!

OK back now?

Right – standby for REALLY random ponderings on Google+, Facebook, The Internet and life in general ….

Google+ > Facebook

That video is one of the many reasons why I love Google+ and why I MUCH prefer it to Facebook. Sure not many of my friends are on there (yet). But that just makes Google+ different – not worse.

Continue reading “Ponderings on a +”

The approach of number 12

As usual it new years eve, and we are settled down for a quiet evening in. Call me sad, boring, whatever … I don’t mind! This is my preferred way to spend new years eve!

Stuff goes bang and smells a bit funny ….

When I was younger – I had a couple of years of standing in the cold watching the cheesy build up in Cardiff civic centre. Waiting for the countdown and then the usually spectacular fireworks to light up the skyline. It being winter. In Cardiff. It often had a some unexpected results. Such as the time the wind blew the main part of the display over the heads of the audience – WOW ! Those big fireworks exploding directly overhead look amazing! Or there was the time that the cloud cover was a bit low … the rapidly colour changing clouds made it looked like ET was about to land …. or that its spaceship was in the process of being shot down …. Continue reading “The approach of number 12”

Prayer of a four year old

Amy’s prayer for me tonight:

I pray for daddy,

I pray that he will get all his jobs done before he goes to work tomorrow

and that he will put all the things back in the right places so that mummy will be really impressed with him ….

hmmmm

A Time to … Part II

I have previously blogged about the fact that I felt it was appropriate for me to wear trousers in work and generally smarten up my appearance to match more with the manager part of my role at the college.

Well there have been some significant changes at the college – and my role has now changed slightly.

My decision to wear trousers and smarten up was because it was appropriate for someone in my role to have a smart appearance. My new role in the college still demands that I  should present a smart appearance to our internal and external customers. But my new role also requires me to be more of a hands on practical technician – and in a building where the heating always appears to be on full –  and with my build probably consisting of more “insulation” than it should – Trousers simply aren’t appropriate all of the time.

So when its appropriate I will wear shorts. When its appropriate I will wear trousers. When it appropriate I will put on my new shirt/trousers/shoes that I recently bought with the help of my personal shopper (thanks Bro !)

So always good weather for shorts … still not entirely accurate for me in work. But in my new role shorts are going to be appropriate far more often.

But…

What a stressful few weeks this has been.

If you are one of the few people who actually reads and notices what my on-line identity has been spewing out recently you may have picked up that there has been some quite big and stressful changes going on at work. As I write this some of those changes are finally out in the open – some more will be released on Monday (I am writing this late on Saturday night but wont publish it till probably Tuesday).

I have had to scale back on my blogging / tweeting / facebooking – as the things I wanted to talk about I either wasn’t allowed to, or it wouldn’t have been appropriate to. That’s been quite hard. Rightly or wrongly some of my emotional support comes through these somewhat tenuous electronic relationships. But as I blogged about how it was appropriate for me now to wear trousers in work, it wasnt appropriate for me to talk about these things publicaly. Some of it I wont/cant talk about. In fact I am sure some people will think that me even talking about this at all isn’t appropriate. But hopefully what I blog about here is appropriate. This is my personal blog – in a public place. What I write are my personal thoughts and feelings filtered for public viewing.

When this all kicked off at the start of term – I blogged about how it was really obvious to me that God was carrying me through and providing me with a complete sense of peace. I also talked about how I was trying to keep my hands up – in God’s Hands – during times when it was so very easy to grab on to the nearest thing around me that I felt would provide refuge and safety.

I cant claim to have managed to keep my hands up all the time. I tried. I managed it for more that I thought I would.

I cant claim to have allowed that peace to continue to give me comfort and strength. I tried. But there were certainly quite a few dark days.

But…

I am still very aware that the ever changing God that I don’t deserve to have a relationship with – was (and is) with me.

I am very aware of God’s hand on my shoulder. It has given me comfort, strength, guidance and the occasional firm squeeze when I needed it.

I started this process with a real chance of not having a job by Christmas. But I found out on Wednesday that I am part of a new technical support team at work so I get to continue to have a job. To work in the place I am really excited to be. My job will change – it will expand into areas that I have wanted to support for some time. Some of my existing responsibilities will pass on to a new post above me – but that will give me the capacity to focus on my newly expanded role and to hopefully develop other things that I wouldn’t have had the chance to.

Unfortunately this is all coloured by the fact that one of my colleagues isn’t part of this new team. All the worries and stresses that I have spent the first half of this term trying to put to the back of my mind – are all now painful realities to him. I am hopeful that the painful change in his life will be at the bottom end of the scale and that he will find a solution that will financially and personally work for him.

It is all very hard.

The next few months was always going to be an exciting / busy / challenging time for me in work. The necessary changes at work will result in a team that is better equipped to support the expanding technical operations. In the short term its going to be … interesting ….

But…

By Easter next year I will be the Senior Technician in a leading academic institution. I will have had the opportunity to equip two state of the art venues, the wider £22 million development and to be part of the commissioning process prior to opening. I will have developed new skills, put in place new systems and expanded our technical support across the college.

It will, I suspect, be a rollercoaster of a ride. Its a ride I am looking forward to. Standing in the aparently endless queue for the past few weeks has been painful. The price of entry has been almost unbearable. But the ride promises to be a good one. I will try to keep my hands up.  I am sure many around me will think I am a nutter for not holding on to the safety harness – and I am sure there will be times when I will make a grab for it.

But…

I will try to keep my hands up.

Hold on to the God in whom I put my trust in.

I am trying to live my life in His hands. I am human so I will make mistakes. I don’t claim to be perfect -far from it.

But…

I am trying not to live a life full of imperfections. I am trying to reflect the God in whom I put my trust. I know I do that poorly a lot of the time. To those of you who have seen that reflection through me un-clearly or not at all and to my God who deserves my all but so rarely gets it – I am sorry more than words can express. My prayer is that my actions both public and private will help to start to clear up the reflected Light of the God in whom I put my trust. I don’t deserve for that light to even flash across me for a second – but only through His grace – not my actions – can I bask in that light. I need to reflect that Light better.

I will hold my hands up

Hold on to the God in whom I put my trust in.

A time to …

A time to live
A time to die

A time to love
A time to cry

A time to rest
A time to run

About this time 13 or so years ago I made a decision that changed my outlook on life and also how people view me.

I decided that conforming to what people expect – just to be “normal” wasn’t important to me. I wanted to be happy with who I was and not present a false image of myself to my friends around me.

So I started wearing shorts all year round.

I know that probably sounds daft – but to me it really was that important. I finally had enough self confidence in who I was that I didn’t feel the need to follow the norm and conform to what people expected. It was liberating. Wearing shorts all year round has become much more than .. well wearing shorts. It has become part of who I am – my confidence and character are rooted within that decision 13 or so years ago that I wanted to wear what I felt most comfortable wearing.

A time to wear shorts
A time to wear trousers

Now most of my friends from that time are memories. Some are friends on Facebook. I have gained new friends along the way – who I guess only really know the shorts wearing version of me.

I have been thinking for sometime that my external image no longer lines up with who I am in work.

I am a manager in a very successful organisation. I make decisions that have wide ranging impacts across all areas. I deal with clients internal and external who expect a manager – not a scruffy techie in shorts.

So from Monday I will be wearing trousers in work. My image should match my job.

To my colleagues and customers, internal and external I will hopefully be Matt “Chief Technician” Rogerson

To my friends I will always be Matt “That slightly odd bloke who wears shorts” Rogerson

In work at least – there is no weather – so “always good weather for shorts” no longer applies.

One year on …

Around about this time a year ago the final stages of the very sad pages of my life were playing out.

I still remember

I’m still sad

But I’m still happy and reminded of the great many blessings that our God has given to us.

I’m happy

I’m sad

I’m remembering

And that’s ok

New Phone, Blue Sky, Short post …

image

Ok so let’s see where this goes! I kinda wish you could see me typing this – if all my clever geekery works out as planned this entire post will be written from my new phone whilst relaxing on my sofa! It’s this future man! Sorry I tend to come out with some very age inappropriate phrases when I get excited!

So yes any follower of my tweets will have spotted that I have got a new phone. It’s a very shiney HTC Desire. I am very impressed with it – good job really as it will be another 27 months before I am due a free upgrade …..

For those that “dont do technology ” its kinda like an iPhone – but this one is made by HTC and is running Android which is made by Google. It fits with me very well – its very geeky, its very powerful, its not what everyone else is doing, and for me prob the most important thing is that it is “open”.

Why is it so important to me that its “open” – well much as I like the quality of the apps that that you can get for the iPhone – the problem for me is that Apple very much control what is available – now with that control comes some benefits such as better reliabiliy and less chance of downloading something iffy! But for me, very basically, I want to be able to make those decisions – to make those mistakes and then figure out what to do next.

Hmmm didn’t expect that

I was just going to write a little blog post – wasn’t expecting to have a “ooooh” moment ….

“I want to be able to make those decisions – to make those mistakes and then figure out what to do next.”


Actually I will leave that hanging there for a bit – may have to come back to that later in a future blog post! Need a bit of time to think and a slightly bigger screen to work it out on !

So what else is new / happening with me?

Well its the usual carnage at work but with the added pressure of a massive building project and all the considerable stresses that come with that ! It’s a very exciting time – I just hope the stress of it all don’t take away that excitement ….

Anyway said it would be short – and I am not sure if I managed that …. so I will finish here in the only way appropriate ….

LATER DUDES !!!!

Change

Change – its a funny old thing – and there is a lot of it around at the moment. It might just be me but there does appear to be a lot of things all changing at once – or maybe when some big things start to change you actually notice the small changes going on all the time.

I have been pondering on this post for a couple of weeks now – but when it comes down to actually writing it I am not really sure what i want to say …

Hmm…. No change there then …

Continue reading “Change”

Everybody is different – so what is normal?

One of the things I have been thinking about recently is just how different everybody is. Everything from how some people drink tea not coffee all the way up to how some people “think” in pictures and some in “words”.

Pretty Pictures…

As I have said before I am very much a “Pictures” brain kinda person. I see and remember things as pictures. The discussions about Mental Arithmetic in the last couple of Blogs made me realise that when I try to work out a maths problem – I see the numbers as a picture in front of me. A multiplication or division is worked out by stacking blocks of numbers along a line to make up the answer. A division is just a matter of looking along the line of numbers for the right point to make a split. Thinking about that made me realise why I have always been better at estimating things quite well – but the finer details are always not so great. I can get a big picture quite easily – but “zooming” in to see the exact number takes a while – and if I need an exact answer it takes ages as I have to “move” each block around the picture , trying to keep track of where things are …. By this point the physical side of my brain has already found the closest calculator and the sociological part is trying to figure out if using it would be more “acceptable” than giving an incorrect answer!

Continue reading “Everybody is different – so what is normal?”

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