The approach of number 12

As usual it new years eve, and we are settled down for a quiet evening in. Call me sad, boring, whatever … I don’t mind! This is my preferred way to spend new years eve!

Stuff goes bang and smells a bit funny ….

When I was younger – I had a couple of years of standing in the cold watching the cheesy build up in Cardiff civic centre. Waiting for the countdown and then the usually spectacular fireworks to light up the skyline. It being winter. In Cardiff. It often had a some unexpected results. Such as the time the wind blew the main part of the display over the heads of the audience – WOW ! Those big fireworks exploding directly overhead look amazing! Or there was the time that the cloud cover was a bit low … the rapidly colour changing clouds made it looked like ET was about to land …. or that its spaceship was in the process of being shot down ….

I did spend the millennium in that same crowd – it should have been amazing. I had some good company and was really looking forward to the show. But then my overriding memories today are…. well…. not exactly fitting of that once every 1000 year occasion…

  • The spot we had carefully chosen to watch from became the spot next to place every other bloke decided to use as a loo …
  • Like 99.99% of the population, I wasn’t working. That wasn’t a good thing. On numerous occasions during my final year at uni I had said “well if we aren’t working on new years eve we are doing something seriously wrong….”     It’s safe to say that standing in that cold, wee smelling spot – I was left thinking that my freelance career wasn’t exactly going as I had planned …

I don’t drink and don’t really do large social gatherings. In fact I don’t do social gatherings at all really. So “going out” at new years isn’t really high on my list of priorities. I’m happy with how I am spending my new years – I hope you are too.

So that was …

Anyway that brings me on to the part of this Blog where I should come up with a pithy and entertaining summary of the year. Followed by some nice sounding resolutions. Suitably vague and clever sounding – more of a statement on how I want you to see me rather than actual resolutions. Also being a Christian, and the son of a vicar, there should probably be three of them …

But im not going to do that. Partially because it is now 23:29 and if I stand a chance of hitting my 23:48 deadline I need to be quick. Also because its now … 23:31 pithy and entertaining takes too much effort…. come on it just took me over two minutes to write about 20 words …..

It’s also because 2011 was a very hard year.

Hard …

Work started hard. Sacked, redeployed and then moving in to our fantastic new venues as number two in a very different team. Also they were, and still are, venues that are no longer “mine”. That’s been tough. It’s been tougher on my new boss who has had to work horrifically hard to keep us from being run over by uncontrolled juggernaut that was our workload in the last year. I am still adjusting in to my new role. Its still hard. It doesn’t look like its going to change much in the year ahead.

As I have previously blogged – my dad had a heart attack and cancer in the space of a few weeks. Don’t think that needs “unpacking” as to why it was hard.

Those would be my “hard” headlines of the year. But even without those specific events, it would still have been a hard year. Everything seemed to be more difficult, everything just didn’t seem to go the way it should. Or at least the way you hoped it would. It all became a bit too much.

In fact towards the end of this year it came to a point where I decided that enough was enough and I just needed some time out. A needed to call the doctors and get signed off work for a bit to sort my head and my life out.

That call never got made. I did make an effort to get a LOT more sleep than I normally do and things have slowly moved away from the point of pointlessness that I had reached.

Now at the end of two weeks off work – as a father to a 5 year old at Christmas I can’t claim to be rested! But I can say I have had a great break from work and all the things that had become “normal” life. That brings me to the place I am in now – like so many others – looking back at what was and planning for what will be.

2011 was hard – 2012 will probably also be hard – but it will also be good. As 2011 was also good.

… and it was good

I got to spend another precious year with my daughter. Who, and I realise may be a little biased here, I think may be the most wonderful little girl in the world. It wasn’t hard spending this last year in her wonderfully cheeky company. It was great!

I got to be part of the team that opened the stunning new facilities at work. Those two weeks around the opening were THE most fun I have had in work for years. It was busy and a bit bonkers. But SO much fun.

I got to play trains with my dad. I got to walk on a beach with my dad. I will get to do that in 2012. Because despite having a heart attack and cancer he is still here – probably fitter than how he started 2011.

AND I got to Liveblog the NEW YEAR !!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Its now 00:02 on the 1st of January 2012. And I ,like I hope all of my friends, am sitting with a big grin on my face.

2011 was 2011

2012 will be 2012

I am looking forward with a smile.

Life can, has been and will be hard. I am going to do my best not to let that fact get me down.

My new years resolutions? something pithy and entertaining? deep and spiritual? Worthy?

Nope my new years resolution is quite simple. It needs to be if it stands a chance of me remembering it this year….

Do Less.

If 2011 taught me one thing it is that life here on earth is a finite, limited resource. It passes by more quickly than you realise and runs out when you least expect it. I want to do more to experience a fuller, better, more enjoyable life. To make room for that in this finite space I call life, I need to do less of the things that make life emptier, worse, sadder…

Do Less.

I hope and pray that you will all have a great 2012. Thanks for coming along for the ride with me, through this blog, or my random social posting to Facebook, Google+ , Twitter. Your comments, +1’s and Likes mean more to me than you might realise. And to the 10% or so of my friends and followers actually click though my links to actually read my blog – yep that’s you I am talking too! Thank you ! and well done 😉

Edit: So I missed my 23:48 publishing deadline … but I managed to hit 12:48 – that makes me happy! 😉

2 thoughts on “The approach of number 12

  1. You have had a really rough year Matt but are coming out of it well. Congratulations! We are here if needed, just holler. Love, as iver. Us.xxx

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