Change – its a funny old thing – and there is a lot of it around at the moment. It might just be me but there does appear to be a lot of things all changing at once – or maybe when some big things start to change you actually notice the small changes going on all the time.
I have been pondering on this post for a couple of weeks now – but when it comes down to actually writing it I am not really sure what i want to say …
Hmm…. No change there then …
Ok – so what in the world ‘o’ Matt has been changing …
Amy Starts Nursery
I think this is one of those big fundamental changes that every parent has to go through @ some point. Nursery is the 1st time when your little baby is no longer just “yours”. From this point onwards they are the nursery/school/college/uni ‘s for a significant part of the day. Where previously there was almost complete freedom and flexibility – now sits a timetable that “must” be followed and worked around. That kinda sucks. A lot.
Before you all dive down to the comments section and tell off for being daft and “it will be fine” – hang on !! I am actually happy that Amy gets to go to nursery. I am excited that she is going to be able to experience more than we are able to let her experience @ home. I am chuffed that the nursery is really good and had a LOT going on. I am excited that she will learn new things every day – not just the academic stuff – but i think the social skills are equally (if not more) important. I am chuffed that Em gets to have a bit of regular Em space for the 1st time in over 3 years. I love coming home each day to find out what Amy has been up to. I love seeing her paintings and sticking – I am looking forward to when i will be able to “get” them without helpful subtitles added by the teachers – BUT I am loving seeing her raw creativity @ this early stage!! I am actually enjoying getting up as a family and having breakfast together – making sandwiches for everyone – its a really nice way to start the day. Much better than sneaking out of the house hoping not to wake Amy up!!
But I still miss that she is not “ours” as she was. I think it would be wrong of me not to.
Where did that tree go?
Its chaos @ work at the mo. I know i say that all the time – but its even more so right now …. ok so i know i say that too ….
The building project has finally started – I am “lucky” enough to have a window looking out over the new build. Its been great coming in each day seeing my view change so dramatically each day. Its even better knowing that the building is slowly taking shape has the potential to be completely stunning – and will change everything we do – mainly for the better.
If you follow me on twitter or facebook – you will know that i have been in the slightly stressful process of getting a new bike. I know that a new bike is not normally a stressful decision – but I cycle 7 miles a day on mine – its my main form of transport – I have cycled nearly 5000 miles on my old bike. It has served me well for over 10 years. But it was coming to the end of its useful life – and not really built for how I now use it.
I was brought up as a Mountain Biker – cycling 20-30 miles each Saturday off-road with the club @ school for most of my teenage years. Partially due to an injury i sustained after a nasty crash during that time – but also due to not having/making the time I don’t cycle off road now. I am a …. roadie …. shudder……
But I have to keep kidding myself that i am not – roadies are my childhood enemies – if i accept the fact that i am basically now one – it may well unhinge the last grips on sanity my brain is resting on ….
To aid this denial – my new bike therefore couldn’t be a road bike or even a cross bike (bit more rugged road bike with larger wheels than a MTB)
After a bit of searching I believe i had found my ideal bike:
The Specialized Globe San Francisco 2 …. ahhhhh ….. Not exactly a catchy name – but a rather nice looking bike.
Anyway long story short(er) – Over the summer I found myself in the position of being able to afford to get my dream bike through the colleges “Cycle to Work” scheme. A quick call to the bike shop and my hopes of a rather excelent change were dashed …. They had dicontinued it and there were no more in stock …….
Out of desperation I called our local bike shop to see if they had any in the shop …. “No sorry” …… Balls …… “But looking at Specialized UK stock system they have over 50 in stock ….. ”
Not Balls !!! – Change was coming !!!!!
Anyway – Change has now arrived and i have been using it for a couple of days now. How is it? Techncially – a bit spinny on the hill down in the morning and a little twitchy at times – but overall – AWSOME !!!I am very chuffed!
Not going to go on about this as i don’t want to appear to be bragging etc – I only mention it here as it has made a significant change to me and our family. Just before the end of July I found out that my appeal for my pay and grading restructuring at work – was successful. In a nutshell I am now a “manager 1” or something like that and I have had a bump in salary and a corresponding chunk of back-pay. It has been really wonderful. And we both quite strongly feel its another sign of God very generous way of looking after us. We are very grateful and are still trying to figure out what the is wisest thing to do with the bit of cash we now have.
Its the little things that make the biggest change for me though – it was the things i hadn’t really thought about. It really hit home for me one morning when i was having a shave – where previously i looked and my replacement blades and thought – crikey they are expensive – best keep them going for as long as possible …. i did a double take and went …. crikey they are expensive …. but actually when they get blunt i will replace them – not start reusing the old ones again ….
told you i was odd …
At the start of the summer vacation – it became clear after conversations with my line manger that I would have to make some significant changes to how we operate as a department, I already know some changes would have to be in place for September – but i wasn’t planning on quite the same scale as my line manager.
I worried about this on and off for most of the summer – all coming to a head last week when i presented the changes to my team.
Actually it wasn’t the end result that i was worried about – I am really excited about how we will now be working this term. I think it will really benefit the students and their learning experience and it will benefit my team and how we operate in the college. I am genuinely looking forward to it.
What I was/am worried about is the change – the process of moving from how we were, to how we will be. The moment of realisation that what we knew before as “work” will not quite be the same again. The moment I had to sit down with the team and have a “chat”. Introducing the new ideas to the other staff and students.
It is these things that cause me worry.
Its these things that I play through in my head trying to figure out all the possible outcomes so I am prepared.
Its these things that I woke up to with a jolt at some unearthly hour of the night.
This term is going to be interesting – I am really looking forward to working alongside the students more – I am not looking forward to mopping up when it goes wrong in some shape or form. But hey – thats what they pay me for!
This isn’t meant as a “look at me im so wise learn from me ” bit
So what have I learnt about this scary thing called change? Well the process is far worse than the actual “change”. Change is happening all the time – I just choose to ignore it most of the time. Change sucks sometimes and there is not a lot you can do about it. Without change everything stays the same …. that kinda sucks too ….