And now for something completely different…

famous
Thanks Ruthy and Jimmy !

This made me chuckle quite a bit – very nicely sums up my thoughts following Jacksons death. Obviously I am sad for him and his family – he was a real person @ the end of the day and death sucks.

I also have to quote someone else – who very nicely summed up my feelings and thoughts as the news was emerging:

Hanz Edmundo is shocked about MJ..but keeping perspective as feels sad for his kids..but also countless peeps who are valued by their own loved ones die every min so my prayer isnt just for MJ’s family but for anyone who has recently been bereaved.

Everybody is different – so what is normal?

One of the things I have been thinking about recently is just how different everybody is. Everything from how some people drink tea not coffee all the way up to how some people “think” in pictures and some in “words”.

Pretty Pictures…

As I have said before I am very much a “Pictures” brain kinda person. I see and remember things as pictures. The discussions about Mental Arithmetic in the last couple of Blogs made me realise that when I try to work out a maths problem – I see the numbers as a picture in front of me. A multiplication or division is worked out by stacking blocks of numbers along a line to make up the answer. A division is just a matter of looking along the line of numbers for the right point to make a split. Thinking about that made me realise why I have always been better at estimating things quite well – but the finer details are always not so great. I can get a big picture quite easily – but “zooming” in to see the exact number takes a while – and if I need an exact answer it takes ages as I have to “move” each block around the picture , trying to keep track of where things are …. By this point the physical side of my brain has already found the closest calculator and the sociological part is trying to figure out if using it would be more “acceptable” than giving an incorrect answer!

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Virtual Conversations

I am really enjoying blogging at the moment!

  • I am finding writing down my thoughts and feelings really useful – especially when it has been so hard recently
  • My techie / Geeky side of me is really enjoying playing with WordPress (the software that runs this site)
  • I am almost daily being surprised by getting a message from someone who has read my blogs. Comments of support, enjoyment, understanding, appreciation, disagreement – whatever they have been i am really appreciating the virtual conversation.

To be honest I am still surprised when someone says that they have read my blogs. Even more surprised when they said that thought it was good! I spent soo many years in school not being great at “English” (I was in special needs spelling until my A-Levels) I still keep thinking that people have read something else and commented to me by mistake!

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My 3 year old Daughter on Facebook?

Ok so maybe the title is a little misleading:

A 3 Year Olds Version Of Facebook ...
A 3 Year Old's Version Of Facebook ..

Over the last few months I have been astonished at how fast things are moving in this technological world.

For a self proclaimed geek – I think that’s quite a big thing to realise!

Hello, Any one there …

Looking at how I communicate with friends I used to hardly email or write or call – but I now Tweet, Facebook and Blog with alarming regularity. I am sure that some people would question these as “proper” forms of communication. And possibly even not think of them as communicating at all.

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And Then There Were 3 – One Page At A Time

Its been a week or so since I wrote the last part of this. I feel I need to write 2 more post and then I think this collections of posts will be done – back to “normal service” …

Its funny how numbers have become important – specifically the number 1.

After we found out Jack had died everything became about the 1st

1st time we went to bed knowing he had died
1st time we went to be just the 3 of us
1st time we spoke to our families
1st time we saw our friends
1st time Em ate mayo after getting pregnant
1st week after we found out he had died completed

Continue reading “And Then There Were 3 – One Page At A Time”

And Then There Were 3 – Turning the page

Its now been a few sleeps since that lonely night. So many people have said so many lovely things. So many people have done so many lovely things for us. So many people have been lost for words but just let us know there were thinking of us – and that was enough.

I do wonder if @ this point it is easier to be me than you?

There is nothing you can say to make this any easier for me. But there is a massive pressure to “make things better” and to “say the right thing”. I dont think there is anything people can say to make things better. Thats not to put down those that have tried. It just an observation. Just knowing people are there is enough.

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And Then There Were 3 – “The Good, The Bad and the Paperwork”

Before I start – dont think for a second I am saying that I think that he died because God wanted it. I dont know if I’m theologically correct in this – but I dont feel that God went “ok time for you to go”. But in all the other things we have clearly seen God @ work. We are comforted and strengthened by that. If you are not a Christian – you probably gave up reading this already and have skipped to the end for the summary. I guess it may come across as someone deluding themselves to hide from the grief – but for me – I am sure that God exists and he is looking out for me and my family. I dont understand why our baby died but I do know that God has clearly showed his presence to Me and Em in the events surrounding his death. Anyway rambling – must get on.

Continue reading “And Then There Were 3 – “The Good, The Bad and the Paperwork””

And Then There Were 3

Last week we found out we lost our baby

He (we don’t know if it was a “he” but that what both our guts think he was) would have been 17 weeks in to his time growing in Em last week. But the doctors think that the scan shows he dies around 4 weeks ago. He would have been just over 13 weeks old.

We are obviously desperately sad

I don’t think that sadness will ever go away – I dont think that’s a bad thing. Its just something you learn to live with. It become part of who you are. He would have been a part of our lives and changed them – so I dont see a problem with the fact of his death (there I said it) will affect us as well.

I know its probably sound a bit cheesy (I was going to say “cleshed” but as you can see I cant spell it ..) but I we have both really seen God in this. I wanted to write a bit about – partially because God has been so obvious I feel it is important to write about it but also I want to write things down before I forget the little details that make up this important story in my life.

I am going to break this down in to bits – its turning in to a mammoth post! – Click here for the Next Part

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