Bittersweet View

View from the RWCMD SU Balcony

So this popped up on my Google Photos “memories” feature.

I miss this view

I miss the building

I miss the staff

I miss the students

I miss the banter, the chat, the smiles in the corridors.

I miss the excitement of the last week of term

I miss the joy of graduation, the silly hats, the parents and families accompanying our students around the building. Proud, awkward, happy, sad all at the same time, Both parents and students.

I miss that unique stillness as the building empties on graduation day and most of the college community gathers at St David’s Hall to celebrate our graduates.

I miss the bright, loud, joyfull explosion of the end of year celebration that rumbles on into the wee small hours.

I miss the physical RWCMD

I don’t miss the situation I found myself in when I took that picture.

The situation that drove me to spending much of my time on that balcony in an attempt to work and stay sane.

That I don’t miss.

Bittersweet.

Not because of all that I miss. Those things will return, maybe in a different form, maybe still tinged with sadness for this “lost” time, maybe better.

Bittersweet because that view and that moment is now linked to a sad situation that is now in my past.

I am now in a different form, still tinged with sadness for that lost time, but better.

So this awesome Ikea light was my Christmas present…

Not this year’s present … Or last year’s …. Or possibly the year before that …

Anyway it’s finally in place and working + looking as awesome I hoped it would!

Black Lives Matter

I’m a white, priveledged male.

I don’t know what it’s like for people who don’t look like me.

I have struggled with what to write about this. I didn’t want to “say the wrong thing” – or upset someone.

But I think we are (well) past that point.

We live in a world where I have to explain to my kids why people are posting Black Lives Matter in the games they are playing.

That’s just not right.

I can’t make that better by myself. I can’t claim to have all the answers. I can’t claim that I’m perfect. But I will state that I will do what I can to make sure that my kids only have to explain to their kids what the phrase Black Lives Matter means in the context of history. Not today’s news.

Time Out

My “normal” day in work is … well … not ever really normal. This means that things like coffee breaks and lunch happen at random times, snatched between activities or sometimes not at all. I suspect this is actually quite familiar for most of you reading this … so I guess that makes it normal ? Anyway debating normality is not the point of this post!

I’m attempting to look after myself a bit better – both physically and mentally. So i’m trying a few things to try and help me function a bit better.

One of the things I have managed to do each day this week is to stop and have a break for lunch, away from my desk. One of the nice things about this term is that there is a balcony near my office that overlooks the park – in the summer it is usually open, So I have been heading out there with my lunch, coffee and headphones to sit and switch off for 20-30 mins. Its been really nice.

I have been listening to the Fully Charged Show podcast, That alone is great but I have realized that I can’t listen to that and do my normal mindless scroll through news and social media feeds. So I just stop and listen.

I still feel slightly guilty returning to the office after my break – which is daft. Yep we are crazy busy but … well we are always crazy busy – there is always more that I could be doing. But actually by doing less for a little bit i’m hoping I will be able to do more in the rest of the time.

Nothing scientific – but the fact that my memories of this week in work now include sunshine, trees and peace.. well that has to be a good thing right?

You sound funny

So I did that quizz that every other person seems to be doing and it came up with this:

People aways seem to struggle to identify my accent – most probably lump me in as a southerner . But according to this if you listen to what I say then you can tell I’m definitely not…

13

13 – The eve of my baby girl turning 13 is probably not the time to connect, for the 1st time, the start of the teenage years and the “unlucky” number …

But here we are!

Thinking back to this time the night she arrived, we were just heading to bed after deciding that the contractions may not nothing and we should get some rest.

I should have guessed that it would be that night. After all as I left work that day I said to a colleague

As long as it’s not tomorrow … Valentine’s Day might be a rubbish day for a birthday …

That’s the parent equivalent of a cop in a film being “one day away from retirement”…

Now 13 years later I’m still making the same parenting mistakes. But I am also learning new things each day as well.

Watching her grow up, simultaneously being unrecognisable year to year and yet the same day to day, it’s been fascinating, fun and exhausting!

I am so proud to be called “Dad” by my girl.

I am so proud of the choices she makes (well most if them!)

I am so proud of the amazing woman she is growing up to be.

Despite the horror stories and negative comments about being a parent to a teenager – I’m looking forward to seeing what happens!

Hopefully that won’t become by latest “cop in a film” moment …

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